Overthinking Mom Reviews: Disney’s “Frozen”

Spoiler Alert: if you plan on watching this movie for pleasure or curiosity rather than necessity, do not read on.  By ‘necessity,’ I mean when you need to get the laundry folded or desire an interruption-free shower with your kids otherwise distracted.  I WILL reveal the ending of this movie and many significant parts throughout.

The first time I saw this movie, I took my (then) five year old daughter to see it in the theatre.  There were a ton of rave reviews about it and since she’s never been too girly, we don’t really do a lot of mother-daughter dates like this so I was excited she even wanted to go with me.  After she finished her gummy bears and coke, she was done, but I insisted on staying until the end.  I left a bit pissed that I endured an hour and 42 minutes of taking her to the bathroom in between catching snippets of this movie.  My initial assessment: crap, they locked a young girl away in her room just because she was different.  They isolated two little sisters from each other and basically robbed them of their childhood.  It actually made me feel really good about my parenting.    I’ll admit I really liked many of the songs, though I was over “Let it Go!” before I even bought the ticket.  Olaf’s song was (and still is) my jam! Since then, my girls have received the DVD as a Christmas gift (yay!) and I’ve now played it 5748 times, give or take. There are characters I love and others I love to hate.

Prince Hans … of the Southern Isle.   I’m not buying that Hans’ interest in Anna was purely a play for power.  Did you see the way he looked at her after they met for the first time?   That goofy little grin of his was one of a smitten kitten.  His initial attraction to her was obvious and even at Elsa’s coronation, I truly believe his intentions were genuinely pure.   I’ll admit there was something funny about a same-day engagement sans the pressure of arranged marriages but hey, when ya know, ya know, right?  And can we just give Anna and Hans a whoop whoop for breaking into song at the party?  Come on, that’s some connection they’ve got!   My husband and I have been together for 15 years and even OUR impromptu duets aren’t that seamless.

I’m gonna stick with Hans for another minute because there’s something he does towards the end that bugs me.  I’m not even getting into how he betrayed Anna and left her for dead -(dick!) – even though it’s a pretty big part of the story line.   What irks me more is the scene when he lies to Elsa and tells her that her sister is dead.  Obviously she falls on her knees and is weeping, back turned to Hans.  He whips out his sword – a literal sword, people, this is Disney, jeez!  Here’s what bugs me – the way he holds it.  I’m just wondering what damage he plans to do — he can come down at a 45-degree angle, swiftly change to a horizontal swipe and try to behead her OR give her a really nasty cut on her shoulder.   If he truly intends to take over Arendelle, he’s gonna need to make it look a little less sketchy and REALLY make sure she’s dead.  Okay, enough of Hans, he’s a total douche.

Kristoff.   I’ll just get right to it – Kristoff is a stud.  Strong, brave and good with animals, he’s just the typical outdoorsy, protect you from the bogeyman type.  Wait, while we’re on boogies – do all men really pick their nose & eat it?  I mean, I’ve seen it done a couple of times (gag!) and to be honest, it wasn’t always a man doing it.  Maybe it’s a Scandinavian thing?  Anyway, I heart Kristoff.  The only thing that would encourage me to hold back my fondness is, in fact, his unmanly blondness.  I much prefer the dark & scruffy type, but enough about me and my celebrity cartoon crushes.   It’s obvious that he cares an awful lot about Anna, but I think he can do better, honestly.  Sure, she’s a princess and surprised him with a new sleigh (which shouldn’t really have been a surprise since she totalled the old one) but is he really that desperate?  This chick just got engaged to a man she met the same day, realized he was just after her power and knocked his lights out all within a short period.  (I’m thinking a few days??)  In the process, she realizes she really loves YOU and flippity floopity flop, she’s taking you to Makeout City?  I don’t think so, Kristoff, take it slow with this one.  You know what they say about redheads.

Olaf.  Favorite.  Snowman.  Ever.

Anna & Elsa.  Meh, sort of okay.  They are the main characters but there’s really not much to them other than what is put right out there for us.  We know that Elsa struggles with controlling her Ice-Queen powers and that Anna doesn’t want to live a life of isolation, but other than that, there’s really nothing for us to discover about them.  What I absolutely love, however, is the bond they have despite years of separation.  Most Disney stories or other fairy tales focus on romantic love saving the day.  I like how this movie acknowledges that shit don’t always work out that way, fools!  The act of true love that saved Anna from suffering a frozen heart was her OWN act to save her sister from the aforementioned confusing sword strike from Hans.  Men don’t always save the day, ladies, sometimes they’re the reason things are going to hell!  Sister power is strong.  I know I would totally jump in front of a sword for mine.

Overall, I would say this one has grown on me, especially since my two year old likes singing “Let it Go!”  Much more tolerable in her cute little lispy voice.