I’m pretty flattered that my kids seem to think I’m some sort of magical multi-tasking specimen of mom-tasticness. It is literally EVERY day that I am called in several different directions as I’m on my way into the ladies’ room to look after my morning business. I’m frequently forced to re-prioritize my plan for bladder-evacuation to five or six down the list, until it becomes a do-or-die situation. But that’s something I do every morning because I have kids and they are really annoying when they start whining.
One thing that consistently drives me bananas, however, and usually ends up with me yelling, is when my kids ask me to do things for them while I’m driving. First, let it be known that I am an excellent driver. I’m comfortable behind the wheel and don’t get rattled easily. Still, there are some things that nobody should partake in while operating a motor vehicle. It became a blog-worthy issue just this past week when my 8-yr old asked me to play Boggle with her on her iPad as I was driving. Just not safe. Here are a few other things I’ve been asked to do while transporting my very-cute-but-unreasonably-demanding cargo.
- Make a paper airplane. Sorry, hands are occupied. Don’t ever ask me that again, it’s just ridiculous.
- Watch the video your teacher posted on YouTube of the science experiment your class did in school today. Uhhhhh – eyes on the road, remember?!
- Study the intricacies of your latest artwork. I’ll be very excited to do that -ONCE I STOP DRIVING!!!
- Make you a meal of any kind. Unless I have a juice box or granola bar next to me, you’re going to have to put a lid on “hungry-thirsty” time until we get where we’re going.
- Put on that song you heard the other day by that kid that sang about his girlfriend and how they went on a date together. Ya know, the one where he calls her “baby” a lot. Riiiiiiiiiiight. (Note to my children in 10 or so years – I tuned you out the second you made a song request that was not on one of the CD’s already loaded into the car i.e. Foo Fighters or Red Hot Chili Peppers).
- Play “I Spy.” I can actually do this fairly safely while driving, and actually have several times. However, you cheat. You change your item depending on who is guessing and who you want to win. As a result, I hate this game and since I’m the mom, I’m going to lie to you little cheaters and say it’s unsafe for me to play. How ya like me now??
- Tie your shoe. Really? Really?? REALLY???
I have said the words “I can’t do that right now because I AM DRIVING THE CAR!!!” more than I feel any person should have to. Why aren’t they catching on? Do I have a couple of kamikaze passengers? Do they just not care for their own personal safety? I seriously don’t understand why this is a conversation I have to have each and every time I strap them into the car, but I’m sure my inwardly focused road rage will rear its ugly head for several more years to come.
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