Trimester 2 – The Calm Before the Storm

Anybody who has ever been pregnant, or partnered up with a pregnant chick, or lived with a prego, or worked with one, been friends with one or maybe even just looked at one the wrong way, will be thrilled to know that Kim has gotten through her first trimester.   There were mood swings, and lots of gas, weird texts to her sister (me) in the middle of the night asking if certain foods were alright to eat.  There were the obligatory crying sesh or seventy over Hallmark commercials, or ones with puppies, or babies, or a kid who just learned how to tie his shoe.  There was a whack-load of me getting off the phone and chuckling uncontrollably to myself because I remember all of this and I’m glad it’s not me experiencing it again.

If I remember correctly, the second trimester was relatively smooth sailing.  I actually liked it.  The morning sickness subsided, I started showing, so now my prior bitchiness was subsequently forgiven and the cravings started.  I like food, so does my sister.  This trimester will be legen— wait for it —-dary!  One of the first texts past 13 weeks that I get from her:

“I can’t stop eating Oatmeal Cream Pies.”  YESSSS!  I can’t wait to hear about her other cravings!  “I keep Oreos in my night stand and eat them after Rocky goes to sleep.”  I actually received video proof of this claim and, yes, it was every bit as magnificent as you would imagine.

Then I get the occasional text with complaints about her fiancé/father of her child.  And it makes me laugh, because all I can think is “holy crap, she’s such a bitch, was I this bad?”  and the answer is a resounding ‘YES!’  Rocky usually annoys her most when he’s talking while she’s trying to eat. . . “ummmmm – helloooo?!?!  How the hell am I supposed to hear what you’re saying over the sound of my chewing?  Seriously, man, tryna eat here!  Don’t you see my stomach?  Needs.  Food.  Now.  B-A-C-K-U-P off me!”  That’s what I imagine her inner dialogue to be.  I’m sure she just closes her eyes, keeps chewing and blocks him out.  That’s what I would do.  Food is food.  Food is life.

When I was getting ready to put this together, I asked her to send me three words to sum up the second trimester.  I was thinking three separate words that I could work with/elaborate on but she sent me a single concise sentence: “got fat fast.”  Perfect.  I’ve seen her recently and she looks marvellous.  She’s one of those mostly belly pregnant chicks.  And oh, the belly, so adorable.  Especially knowing that my little nephew is floating around in there.  The week before I was going to see her for the first time since she announced her pregnancy, I sent a text that I was looking forward to rubbing her belly.

Her reply: “you rub my belly, I rub your face.  In shit.”  True story.

I still rubbed her belly.  It was worth the risk.  I figured that, with her altered center of gravity, I could easily fend off her attempts to get my face near any feces without hurting her.  After all, I’ve seen her try to tie her shoes.  Also, I’m shorter and have cat-like speed and reflexes now that my child-bearing days are behind me.

The end of her second trimester brought her a baby shower and a wonderfully surprising engagement.  (Yay, a new brother for me!!)  It brought ME so much happiness to see their excitement to face new milestones together – yeah, I’m getting sappy.  I’m proud of her commitment to her health and sorta freaked out that my little sister is going to be a mom, but I’m confident she will be a pretty incredible one.

In the words of the mom-to-be, we will sum up her second trimester as such: “this little demon in my uterus better be cute!”  (I don’t want to tell her what to expect in the coming months.)