She started at my feet. Thumb running up and down the arch, then a quick squeeze of each toe between her thumb and forefinger. Grabbing my whole foot in her gentle hands, she took each one silently, rolling the ankles to make sure they were warm and loose. It was time to go and, as she explained many times leading up to today, the feet can’t hesitate. They must be ready.
Reaching past my ankles, she manhandled my legs. Calves, knees, thighs. The legs must be strong, too, she reminded me. You may have to run, this will likely be a marathon, and you must not tire.
Then she parted my thighs ever so gently, spending just a moment at the zenith before placing her hands just above, sending her warmth inward. Don’t ever forget the magic that this part of you has unearthed. The lives of others started here, and while you are no longer tasked with carrying them within you, you will always carry them. This is your core, keep it strong.
Her hands travelled around to my backside. Kneading the fleshy mounds, she reminded me there were days when this part of me got the most use while remaining sedentary. Sitting idly by while no decisions were made. No progress, no movement. It is time to get off that ass, she reminded me.
Travelling still north, her fingers gently caressed my humble breasts. Yes, my dear, they are small and have caused you insecurity in your younger years. But remember as you got older that they nourished the ones you love the most. And this one – you see this one here? One hand lingered over my left breast then down slightly. This one cushions your heart. But you don’t want to protect it too much, do you? By leaving it exposed, you get to feel more love. Yes, it means you hurt more, but I promise you, one day you will understand that it’s all worth it.
Continuing up to my shoulders and neck, she frowned. My darling, you have spent too many days with your head down. You carry too much tension, too much sadness. Let me unburden you. She poked me and prodded me, she twisted and turned me, she spent so much time getting me just right. It felt good when she finally declared that my head was on straight. It is time to carry it tall. I was ready to look forward and see what was in front of me. At that moment, it was her and she was beautiful.
First, you will need to use your head. She whispered this in my ear as she rubbed my temples then tangled her fingers in my hair. Rubbing as if trying to manually stimulate my brain. I started to focus. Then she looked me in the eyes and smiled. I announced that I was ready.
I don’t think so. She shook her head as she grabbed both of my hands in her own. Rubbing my palms, then wrists, forearms, biceps. These arms will one day be draped around another. These hands will gently caress the face of a deserving love. Your fingers will wipe away many tears. Some of them your own. Then she placed my own arms across my chest, reminding me to love myself, to be protective of my heart but not to hide it.
She kissed my cheek as I took a deep lingering breath and walked away.
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