So I’m listening to this song “If the World was Ending” and it’s really kind of sweet. It’s about former lovers who realized that they weren’t quite right for each other but still obviously care deeply for each other. They are singing to each other and kinda making sure the other knows that if the world was ending, they want to spend their last night with each other. Awww, so sweet. And I’m getting all choked up and I’m like “yeah, come on over, we can totes cuddle.”
But, uhhhhh, it’s just gonna be cuddling because my kids will be here. I’m not getting a babysitter if the world is about to end so you can get a piece for the last time. And I’m guessing you’ll want to bring your kids, too. I’m cool with that. And if you’re ex is any type of good mother, she’s gonna want to tag along. I can’t very well say no … But, is SHE dating someone, too? Is he part of the package? And does HE have kids? What about HIS ex? Where do I draw the line at the Apocalypse Party? Should I order some pizzas? How many? Does anyone have a food allergy? Any vegetarians? Because I like pepperoni on my pizza. Who is bringing the nacho dip?
This is becoming too much of a hassle. I withdraw my invite. Sorry, love, I think it’s best if we just spend the last day on earth with our kids. I have really great memories of you, but if you had made a firmer commitment when you had the chance, we could all be dying together, as a happy, but doomed, family.
This is my Saturday night. Obviously nobody is inviting me over if the world is about to end. But a girl can dream.
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